Monday, February 13, 2006

Armored Goblins

Flames flickered in the night, illuminating the piles of flesh and twisted metal that they fed upon. The field littered with the carcasses of a recent battle. Four armor clad figures stood on a small hill lock overlooking the plain. The black acrid smoke washed over them, carrying with it the fumes of burning synthetics along with the charring odour of flesh. Not even the suit's filters could filter out the stench of battle.

"Dragon, this is Ichi Squad, negative on survivors. Orders?"

"Ichi squad, sweep and cleanse the area. Dragon out."

"Hai! Tai-i!"

The squad spread out, fanning across the field. Kicking over pieces of scrap metal and generally rummaging through the debris for anything that could be of potential value. The squad reformed at the edge of the killing ground opposite from where they had come from.

"Dragon, this is Ichi squad, whoever hit these people hit them good. Theres nothing for us here Tai-i."

"Understood, proceed back to base. Dragon out."

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Harrow Kitty!

Here I am at 9 in the morning just sitting at my computer and sudddenly I feel inspired to write... about the lamentability of human existence. To sum up, I just realized the human desire for fads. It must be something genetic in us or something because it sure as hell does not spring from rational thought.

Let me give an example. Happy Meal Toys. Now, these are not the sort of things that would normally inspire lines stretching right around the block. But in a little tiny iron fist ruled island in Asia, it did just that.

The setting, Singapore, the raisonde' insaneness? Hello Kitty. Now, you may wonder how a cute cartoon character created for preteen girls manages to create a huge storm in a quiet, regimented island. To be honest I don't fricking know, but I have one theory.




People evolved from sheep not monkeys.



Now, I realize that it is early in the morning and possibly, I am not fully coherent but it occurs to me that is the only possible reason that people would ever, ever buy tons of Happy Meals in order to collect the whole frickin set of Hello Kitty and stand for hours under the blistering sun in sweltering hot weather crushed in a crowd just to obtain a fricking cartoon character dressed in a variety of cultural outfits. It went on for weeks. Hello Kitty in Kimono. Hello Kitty in Evening Dress. Hello Kitty in Cheong sam. Hello Kitty in Malay Wedding Outfit. Hello Kitty in G-String. Hello Kitty in Cowboy Outfit. Hello Domatrix Kitty.

The list went on and on. Over 20 or so fricking bloody Hello Kitty and her male counterpart dressed in some costume or other and people snapped it up like they were possesed. A doctor even got into a fight for chrissakes over the thrice dammed mouthless abominations. It was ridiculous and really got me pondering... what was it? What on Earth was it that possessed people to absolutely freaking-do require the dolls? Was it the threat of genitalia mutilation from their demanding brats back home? Was it their possible latent herd instinct leftover from sheep evolution? What was it?

Find out in the next episode of XXX files. Where I post pictures of scantily clad woman and tell you how f-ing brilliant I am annd you post comments agreeing with me because you're too busy drooling over some ho's tits on your monitor. Whatever, its your monitor, just be sure you leave comments paying homage to my near godliness.

This is Theif of Time, stealing more seconds from your decaying body as you read this and realizing I have totally gone off topic. I too am sheep, getting a bloody fricking blog!

Baa ram ewe, baa ram ewe, a load of C4 will see you through, baa ram ewe. Pass the grass ewe f-er.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

DOOM: Resident Evil Lite (Less zombie calories with low grav space!)

DOOM. Other reviews cited the movie as being true to it's name. I wish I could say otherwise. One sees the DOOM logo and thinks "Well, it may not have storyline but god damn theres a gonna be plenty of blood!" The movie dissapoints even in that regard. There is no lone marine rampage through a hell infested complex. What we get is Resident Evil in Space. Literally.

Heres a summary of the plot: Genetic experiment on Mars. However, like all genetic experiments the excreta has hit the rotating cooling device and of someone has to go in and clean it all up. Enter stage right the marines. Led by the Rock and equipped with what can only be called Pulse Rifles these men are ready to kick ass and take names. Except... they don't.

Instead for the first hour or so you get: Marine see big moving shadow, marine shoot shadow, shadow continues running, marine chases, cue music which brings up the hope that Zombie Slaughterfest 2206 is going to start, see shadow vanish, music slowly diess away...along with audience intrest.

One hour and of this crap interspaced with the marines killing off the now zombified research scientists (which isn't exactly massaccre material considering theres only 5 of them and only 4 zombify). Throw in character development for the Doom guy (Reaper) and the whole thing goes where the baddies should've come from. I mean DOOM Guy! You don't give him a back story or make him sentimental. He's the "IN YOUR FACE SPATCHCOCK" guy BFG'ing the hell out of everything in a one mile radius. You don't get him going "The archeological dig... this is where my parents died... boo hoo hoo" He's the freakin DOOM GUY.

I could keep on going on and on about all the flaws. And normally some reviews say stuff like 'Oh, if only they had done this and that it'd have been great" but well, to make this movie even passable they should have stuck to the first two DOOM games for plot and action and just made the setting and monsters DOOM 3. Demons from Hell, guy with shotgun. It doesn't get any better. A 100 minute slaughterfest would've been a great improvement as would have been the storyline. Watch if you really want to, but even hardcore DOOM fans are going to come away dissapointed.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Reflection

Well, here it is again. Another two month holiday gone and done. Odd feeling sI feel at the moment. Regret, yet having drilled into the mind that there can be no regret...I hope it's a passing thought.

Hmm...Chinatown..Little India, all these places. Whooo..it's going to be a while before I'm going back there.

hm...so much to write about and no idea how to say it.

Goddamn...quite a bit I want to write but I can't be arsed...I wonder if most bloggers get this feeling. I suspect it's stems from the fact the stuff I want to say has already been said. Ahh...with that...hmm...I have only one thing to say...

Watch Hellsing

-Quote Of The Day: "Yes! It's all a lie! It was toothpaste all along! "

Monday, November 01, 2004

Gutt Bye!

Well, Max just left yesterday morning.Errgh... what a send off. I slept at 2a.m and then had to wake up at 7a.m just to see him off. He'll be missed. Couldn't work the whole day after that. body was just too exhausted. Instead I spent quite alot of it llying outside on the wooden balcony soaking up tthe sun.. ah.... good times.

Well, sorta bad. I got zilch done. Same for all the previous two days which means I just pissed the weekend down the drain. Again. Hmm.. what else? Not much. Friday was stay at home and... and... what did I do? Well, I know for sure Saturday night me and six other guys went down to the Japanese buffet restraunt in Salamanca and pigged out. hahaha... Seven people... we finished all the ice cream, when they finalyy came and refiled it they all swarmed over there and took it all. So much for cultured dining.

Got some tan ( I think. That opr bleeding skin cancer) yesterday lying on the wooden balcony outside. Bloody splinters.... =p.. haha...Friend got the best seat. Parked a couch right in then doorway and lay there.... man, it's comfortable.

What else.... hmm.. been practicing my nunchucks over the weekend and its been alright. Lovely weapons. had to findd weapons grade stuff here though. They're made of too light wood. Useless. Really ahould start work now but I feel so exhausted that I'd rather sleep, Don't even feel like playing computer *sounds of horrrified gasps fill the room*. Errgh....

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Exams

Arrgh....... man, my retests these days are ins erious screw ups... =p... my exam is less than a month away! >_< I seriously should get my ass ingear.

Eh... going home in less than a month now but all I can feel is... I don't know. Just plain... irritation? All I want to do is get everything done with and go and quitely train myself. That and get a girlfriend but that's another story. Ech... my head... I've been sleeping so little. But I suppose the fact that I drank whisky the night before should be the reason for my headache. Couldn't sleep wel.l though. Ahh.... can't wait to get out of here. Go home and... hmmm.. theres no weapon shops back home. I just realised that. What a bitch.... Not even nunchaku. I could really use one of those. Such expensive things ($45!) but still feel so light weight and cheap. You just dfon't have that sense that someone is going to be in a world of hurt when it connects. All horribly decorated to top it off. Honestly, Bruce Lee was a great martiala rtist but why on Earth would I want his face on my nunchucks?

Ah yes, visited a sword shop but they said all they're swords were decorative that'd probably shatter if sharpened. Just wonderful. So I can hang it up on my wall and let them look pretty but I can't use them. A useful weapon mutated into a decoration. Terrible. I'd like an "Iron Fan" though. Interesting weapon.

Well, really should start work on my English now so adios.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

RJ & The Ten Howler Monkeys

Ehhh... being random today.. haha.. life so far is alright. Stress is starting to rack up. All the old sins of procastination, gluttony, sloth and avarice are coming back to haunt me. I'm a lardo, my work and revision isn't complete and I'm slacking round...

Haha.... joking aside, what can I say? Life's been good to me. It'll get better if I just keep my head down, study like a maniac, go home and train like a maniac again in Jeet Kun Do. Martial art books are soooo expensive. Can't imagine why. At any rate I'm slotted to become next years "Dai Lo" over here so I'm kinda forced to upgrade my skills quick smart. Ech... if I can just get to one quarter my current techer's level that'd be good enough... =p.... ech... haha....

Mmm... nothing much else going on in life. I'm content. Nothing bad at the same time nothing extremely good either. Well, there is good stuff going no but it's currently drowning underneath this frantic race to study hard. =p... ehh...

I'm going back to the Boarding House soon. Can't study in school. Ironic isn't it? =p... ah well, can't really think much else to say apart from the fact that....

I"M GOING HOME SOON... I"M GOING HOME SOON... yeh. =p.. Haha... I can't wait to complete this Tour Of Duty.

Well,l the only thing I want to say is that next year, when I am head, I ain't running it the way the current yahoos are running it. My motto is going to be "I won't ask you to do anything I wouldn't do myself." =p... hahaha.... ah.. simplicity.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

The shotgun. best monster killer there is.

I just got Doom 2 off a friend. I know, it is hideously outdated but it has been so so loing since I played a FPS. On a computer no less. With mouse and keyboard. Not those goddamned console game swith fiddly little buttons and whatnot. They're fine for Metal Slug 2 and Fighting games but useless for f-all after that.

Well, what can I say? I'm hooked and onto the Doom drug. Plus I have Accounting exams in exactly one month and 8 days. I better start hauling ass. Can't even work ins chool. All I want to do is shoot monsters and scream "die die die!" as monsters pour out from hidden areas. What can I say? Shotgun.

My feelings these days are more at peace...

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Smackdown!

Okay... I'm addicted to games again.... it all started last Saturday... so innocently... then I became bored and I played a PS 2 wrestling game. I got hooked instantly. I mean, I knew that all the moves were bullshit. No self respecting soldier would use any move like that in real life. However, what I couldn't tear myself away from was that use of judacious painful looking moves. I really really liked stomping on an opponents head. Loved it.

Needless to say it cured (sorta) my caffine overdose and my relief high that iw as feeling after Friday and yep. I played and played. Heck.. my sleep has beens crewed up the past few days. I slept at 2am on Sunday. Well, techinically, that is 2am on Monday. It was Monday's 2am. So.. yep. Couldn't sleep. Still woke up at 8. Today was crazier. i slept at 11pm and woke up at 3,4,5,6 and finally 7am. Nice.

So... hungry.. gah. Anyways.. day has been fine. Accounting test int he morning that I f-ed up but heck it. I'm free! Free! fFree! Time to pig out at KFC... mm.. chicken.... =p

Friday, October 01, 2004

Suplex off the top rope

Ech... my gut hurts. Goddamned coffee. Monkeys! Everybody loves monkeys. Don't they? I hope they do. Because I love monkeys. Mostly fried. =p... eggh... my head.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

-_-

Ouch... well.. my lips and mouth hurt like hell. I suppose this is the last time I'll agree to full contact sparring with Sky... =p.. haha.. son of a bitch. Damn thing must have torn the lip... ech. Can't eat right. Well, I can. I'm such a greedy bastard that I still eat "right" despite the pain... haha.. if a gashed lip and ulcerated lip don't stop me I wonder what will...

Man, nothing much going on here. Crashed out last night at around 7pm and woke up today at 5:30am. Feels good. First good night's rest I've had in... oh... 2 days... haha.. =p.. I'm having it way too easy... =p.... mmf... my lip... >_<... =p...

*plink* *ka-chk* *plink**ka-chk**plink**ka-chk**click*click*click* Shit.

Man... I never seem to have normal dreams anymore.

Just this morning I had one more freaky dream when I woke up at 6:30 and slept for an hour more. Dreams really can cram alot of freaky shit for an hour.

I was in... I think Wales or England. It was all hills, slightly fogy and that "wet" atmosphere aroun dlike it wasn't raining then but it had and looked like it would continue again soon enough. Anyways I was somehow drifting all over this in a parachute. Somehow I thought it would be a very good idea to land next to a fence. I did. And I knew that I could take off again if I just ran down the slop full tilt, the parachute would catch the air and somehow I'd float up again. Well, there was still some reality left in it because I didn't. By this time onlookers (who through some freak means managed to turn up) were just standing there looking at me.

Suddenly I found myself crawling across the roof of this old style train carriages. You now, the 1900 styles. Pretty old class stuff. And I knew that I had to carrry out this rescue operation for a rich man's son kiddnapped by triads. I entered via a ceiling window and manged to get myself perched up on some raised platform. It was about half a meter higher than a avergae man's height. It was like jutting out next to a staircase so people exiting had to walka round it. I couldn't see how big it was. All I saw was this specific area. There was a "gentleman" there. At least he was wearing old gentleman style clothing. Anyways, I had a silence pistol. Aimed it as his head and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. A small graze appeared in his head and started to bleed but that was all. I pulled the trigger many more times until the damn thing went *click* and there was no reacion. Hell, his brain didn't even splatter. I may as well not have had any damn bulelts at all.

Then, this kid dresed in a real posh uniform and everyhing bursts up the stairs. Sees me. And runs back down. And suddenly the whole thing is over and a success. View cuts to outside the carriage which inexplicably is in a car park. I see Kaishi standing off for frag knows what reason and I see the kidnapper bound to a chair within the carriage. I know his some sort of Triad head and I tell him he's going down. He just laughs. In a rage I take out a blade and carve his face up. But strangely enough, the blade doesn't penetrate, it just makes lines. Like the same lines you have when you keep something pressed to your skin for too long and it leaves an imprint. I carved squiggles into his face until the looked like "IN". And then I woke up.

Freaky... or maybe its saying something....

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Haha... these days I have been verging on the border between hyper...and um... hyper. I have no idea why I'm so hyper when inside I have so many things going on. I really should be sitting down and thinking thinbgs through.... =p... anyways... *shrugs*

Well, the day has been alright so far, sitting in the library overlooking the field and all the junior school kids running around screaming. Ceaseless babble and screaming. Crazy... haha... wonder when my lfie was like that.... mm.. probably still is. Held someone's laptop "hostage" just now. Haha... held it up and threatened to drop it to the floor. That was sooo stupid... ach...haha...

Anyways,.... I better be going now because I can't write anymore. Actually, I can. I had a dream last night about someone in the Boarding House trying to knife me and I had to knock him out with a pool cue.... that was tripping.,.. ah well. Class starting.



Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Primus Opus

Well, looks like this is my first blog ever so I suppose I may as well set the pattern here. Its raining outside right now and I have a half day so rock on!

Hmm, hope the soil at the back of the Boarding House doesn't landslide down because that would be a right bitch. At least I can do my laundry. If anybody else from Boarding is reading this I have dibs on the washing machine and dryer.

The Boarding House has just replaced locks on the windows to prevent intruders from coming in and nicking our stuff. Wish they'd just let me dig punji tiger traps but ah well.. banned from using claymores as well.

Work time.

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