DOOM: Resident Evil Lite (Less zombie calories with low grav space!)

DOOM. Other reviews cited the movie as being true to it's name. I wish I could say otherwise. One sees the DOOM logo and thinks "Well, it may not have storyline but god damn theres a gonna be plenty of blood!" The movie dissapoints even in that regard. There is no lone marine rampage through a hell infested complex. What we get is Resident Evil in Space. Literally.

Heres a summary of the plot: Genetic experiment on Mars. However, like all genetic experiments the excreta has hit the rotating cooling device and of someone has to go in and clean it all up. Enter stage right the marines. Led by the Rock and equipped with what can only be called Pulse Rifles these men are ready to kick ass and take names. Except... they don't.

Instead for the first hour or so you get: Marine see big moving shadow, marine shoot shadow, shadow continues running, marine chases, cue music which brings up the hope that Zombie Slaughterfest 2206 is going to start, see shadow vanish, music slowly diess away...along with audience intrest.

One hour and of this crap interspaced with the marines killing off the now zombified research scientists (which isn't exactly massaccre material considering theres only 5 of them and only 4 zombify). Throw in character development for the Doom guy (Reaper) and the whole thing goes where the baddies should've come from. I mean DOOM Guy! You don't give him a back story or make him sentimental. He's the "IN YOUR FACE SPATCHCOCK" guy BFG'ing the hell out of everything in a one mile radius. You don't get him going "The archeological dig... this is where my parents died... boo hoo hoo" He's the freakin DOOM GUY.

I could keep on going on and on about all the flaws. And normally some reviews say stuff like 'Oh, if only they had done this and that it'd have been great" but well, to make this movie even passable they should have stuck to the first two DOOM games for plot and action and just made the setting and monsters DOOM 3. Demons from Hell, guy with shotgun. It doesn't get any better. A 100 minute slaughterfest would've been a great improvement as would have been the storyline. Watch if you really want to, but even hardcore DOOM fans are going to come away dissapointed.